Some of us spend years wondering what we have to do to make ourselves more attractive to the opposite sex. Making yourself more attractive takes dedication and effort throughout your whole life, and can be very frustrating if you don’t quickly see results. There are plenty of ways to make yourself more attractive, but unfortunately a lot of them take a long time to achieve (such as losing weight or learning an interesting new skill).
However, there is one very simple way to make yourself much more attractive to the people around you, and although it might take some dedication to pull it off consistently, it is something that you can apply to yourself and see the benefits of today. In fact, you can apply it at this very moment if you happen to be on your way to a social event.
By applying this principle, I promise you will be much more interesting and attractive to the people around you (including the one you have your eyes on). Not only will this principle make you more attractive to the opposite sex, it will make you all around more likable and accepted by any person you happen to interact with!
When we look around the room at a social situation or public place, we take notice of the people around us. Who stands out to us? Sure, the good-looking people catch our eyes, but who really stands out to us are the people who seem to be having fun, laughing and smiling with the people around them. When we see someone who seems naturally charismatic and well-liked by others, we can’t help but assume that he or she is someone we’d like to meet.
What do these people do that makes them seem so popular and charming? It’s much simpler than you might think.
Are you ready? Here it is.
Be genuinely excited about the people and situation around you.
Sound simple? It is. It seems like a such a simple thing, but it is astounding how many people choose not to apply this principle in their daily lives. As a consequence, people who do not apply this principle are typically not as attractive as the people who do.
I know your next question:
“Why should I be interested in others if most people are boring and not excited to see me first?”
Good question. I have news for you if you have this thought in your head. Everyone else has this same thought too.
This is a negative thought pattern that many of us share, and it’s one of the things that keeps us from being interesting and well-liked by others. Most of us prefer to keep to ourselves and the people we already know, rather than open up to new people and be interested in them. Most of us are more comfortable to sit back and judge new people rather than get to know the good things about them. It’s as if our egos are so big that we expect people to “prove themselves” before we “accept” them.
The problem is that when both people in a new interaction share this same behavior, there is no chance of a new relationship (friendly or romantic).
How silly is that? We want to have friends and dates, but we don’t want to open up to new people and give them a chance to be our friends (or potential romances). This thought pattern is what holds us back from enjoying the social and romantic life that we could enjoy if we were simply willing to open up to others.
Think about it this way. Think of that person you know who always seems to be so popular with the people (and men) around her. Every time she walks up to a group of people she knows, everyone is happy to see her. Everyone is excited to hear what she has to say. Hugs and smiles all around. You think to yourself, “What does she have that I don’t? Why is everyone so excited to spend time with her and not me?”
Well, I’ll tell you the secret. The reason people are excited to see her is because she is excited to see them too. When she encounters these people, she expresses genuine interest in them and what they have to say. Of course she may have other great characteristics, but no one would know about those good traits if she wasn’t open and friendly in the first place.
If you want people to be excited to meet and interact with you, you must first be excited to meet and interact with them.
Think about how you feel when someone expresses genuine interest in you or is excited to see you when you arrive. Doesn’t it feel great? When someone is genuinely interested in what you have to say, don’t you just love that person? When someone makes you feel this special, you remember it. The next time you see that person and they give you the same warm smile and genuine enthusiasm to see you, there is no way you won’t be pumped to see that person as well.
On the other hand, if that person was reserved, didn’t show any interest in getting to know you, and seemed really judgmental and dismissive, you would have no interest in ever seeing that person again.
You can have this same effect on people. All you have to do is be genuinely excited about the people around you. Do it first if you have to, and people will respond in kind. Remember, most people are scared, and most people prefer to sit back and judge. If you can be the one to express interest in them first and make them feel good about themselves, they will love you.
Here’s what to do from now on. When you’re in a social situation, be excited to be there. Embrace the situation and remember why you’re there in the first place. Look around the room, put your phone away, engage the people around you and remember that you are there to have fun. When you greet people, smile and be excited to see them. GIve them warm hugs and ask them how they are and what’s new in their lives. Be genuinely interested in what they have to say, and tell them what you find exciting/funny/cool about what they said. Make them feel special.
Here’s a game that you can play in social situations. I call it “There’s Something Awesome About You.” You don’t tell anyone you are playing this game; it is only played in your own head. Here’s your goal: in any conversation with a new person, you must find something awesome about that person and then talk about it for a few minutes. Say to yourself “there’s something awesome about this person, and I’m gonna find out what it is.” Ask them questions about what they do for fun, where they’re from, what they studied in school, whatever! Once you find something about them that you think is awesome, tell them why you think it’s awesome and then discuss it for a bit.
Once that’s done, you win the game! What is your prize? That new person now thinks that you are an awesome person, because you made them feel good about themselves. Consequently, they now feel good about you.
Now go out there, have some fun, and meet some people! I promise you that people are not as boring as you think. Find out what is awesome about the people around you, and you will have many more friends and potential romances. You can’t lose!
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