1. She is good for his EGO
2. She is good for his WELL-BEING
Yes, yes, of course there are countless more specific reasons that a man is attracted to a woman. What is attractive to one man is not always attractive to the next man, but every unique cause of attraction in a man can be categorized into one of these two main reasons.
I have a very simple explanation for the first one.
To be good for a man’s ego is to demonstrate qualities that he can “brag to his buddies” about.
Quick note and disclaimer: I used quotes there for a reason. Actual, out-loud bragging is a sign of insecurity. A guy who brags about his accomplishments is a guy who needs approval from others in order to feel secure.
These qualities are different for each man, but essentially they are qualities that demonstrate value and accomplishment. These qualities demonstrate that you are a woman who is respected, admired, and desired by others. These qualities are what make you “a prize to be won.”
The simple, obvious example is being physically attractive, but there are also countless other ways to demonstrate these qualities. It could be impressive accomplishments in your field of study or work. It could be that you are recognized for a special talent. Perhaps you’re an accomplished athlete, a published author, or some kind of competition winner. Perhaps it’s something totally random such as being a champion juggler. Somewhere there is a group of guys who finds juggling to be the most impressive talent ever, and the guy in THAT group who gets THAT girl will be the envy of his pals forever.
It can be anything, but to the guy, it’s a simple quality that he sees as “brag worthy.” (Again, “worthy” is the key word here. You don’t want an actual braggart.)
I often hear (from men and women) that being good for a man’s ego is the most important thing to win a man’s attention. And to certain types of guys, it is. Especially for those “players” I discussed in a previous article who are only interested in short-term hook ups. Appealing to a man’s ego is particularly important in the beginning, since this is what will initially get his attention before he gets to know you.
But as I explained, being good for a man’s ego alone is not enough to build a successful, committed relationship. Dating a woman who is good for your ego, but not to your well-being, is like dating a self-absorbed supermodel. Any guy will show interest in a supermodel at first, but if she’s emotionally unavailable, unintelligent, selfish, and boring, she’ll eventually get dumped. She’ll never be able to keep a man around without more redeeming characteristics (unless he’s also as dry and shallow as her, perhaps).
Now for the second reason:
To be good for a man’s well-being is to satisfy his needs in some way.
Quick note and disclaimer: You should only commit to being good for a man’s well-being AFTER he has demonstrated that he DESERVES it. NEVER sacrifice your effort for a man who doesn’t appreciate it and return in kind.
Once you’ve decided that a man is worth putting some effort into, you must then demonstrate that having you in his life will make it all-around better. Contrary to a common belief, men have needs too (and not just physical needs). Along with physical needs, we also have mental and emotional needs.
As you grow closer and more comfortable, he’ll begin to share his feelings with you. You must be willing to listen to him and validate his feelings and thoughts. You must show him attention and appreciation when he does something good for you or goes out of his way for you. You must be willing to do small favors for him: cook for him, rub his shoulders, you get the idea. There are endless ways to appeal to his well-being. Bottom line, you must be willing to fulfill him physically, mentally, and emotionally. (Only after he demonstrates that he deserves it.)
And just like being good for his ego, being good for his well-being alone is not enough. Being good for his well-being alone is what will bring women to have many friends but very few lovers. Men will take this type of woman into a dedicated friendship, but men also need that first type of attraction (ego-related) to bring things to the next level.
The good news is that it’s possible to make real changes, right away, that’ll help you improve your attractiveness in BOTH types of attraction and increase your chances of meeting, attracting, and keeping your ideal man.
More tips to come!
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