There’s a term that my boys and I like to throw around as we go about the single-and-dating lifestyle. We meet women, hang out with them a few times, maybe start hooking up.. and the time comes when we have to determine if she’s worth committing to or not. Typically, we don’t discuss too many details amongst the guys, but one term we’ll put out there pretty often is “oh yea man, she’s relationship material.”
That term is usually the only detail we need to share with other guys for them to get the point: this girl is one worth sticking around with, and could be the one we decide to commit to. If the man himself is ready for a relationship (a whole other topic in itself) and describes a woman this way, we may have the workings for a committed, exclusive relationship.
Of course, there are plenty of things that could take her out of that category and into the “Eh, she’s fun, but not relationship material. I’ll keep seeing her for a bit but keep it at that” category. This is the outcome that leads to a lot of confusion and frustration among you women, and with good reason. I mean, if a guy continues to see you, it should mean he wants to commit eventually, right?
Unfortunately not. Some factors are bad enough to make you “not relationship material,” but not bad enough for him to stop seeing you completely, leading to the situation above.
So what are these reasons that men won’t commit to you? What takes you out of the “relationship material” category? I will describe a few common reasons here. If you don’t have any of these negative traits, odds are good that you’re the kind of woman we want to settle down with!
Maybe you’re both graduating from college and are pursuing jobs in different cities. Maybe one of you is in the military or has a job that requires relocation. Maybe you met online and don’t live in the same place. No matter the cause, most of us are faced with considering a long distance relationship at least once in our lives. It can be a very tough situation, especially if you’ve already been in a happy relationship for several months and weren’t expecting this distance. Do you decide to part on good terms and spare the trouble of a long distance relationship? Or do you decide to tough it out and make it work?
Maintaining a LDR is like running a marathon: it’s challenging, it takes extreme endurance, and can exhaust you mentally, emotionally, and physically if you aren’t prepared for it.
Fortunately, I have some insight that can help you decide if the relationship is worth pursuing and how to make it work if you do decide to tough it out. With adequate preparation and planning, it is very possible to make a LDR work for both of you.
Cheating. It’s a terrible thing. Getting cheated on is probably one of the worst feelings that most of us will ever go through. When we are cheated on, it makes us feel like the person who did it never cared about us at all; like everything we did for that person was all for nothing. Getting cheated on is an insult to everything we are. All we can think about is where we went wrong, at what point did the relationship go sour, and how much we wish we could just get all that wasted time back.
Today I’m going to share some insight into what’s going on in a man’s mind when he cheats. Sometimes it’s deliberate. Sometimes he cheats on purpose because he resents you, because he enjoys hurting others or because he really just doesn’t care. But sometimes, it’s a much more subtle, subconscious issue that even us men usually can’t explain! Let me be clear; I’m not here to justify or defend cheating – it is ALWAYS wrong. I’m just here to shed some light on the issue.