Check out this awesome presentation on how to use body language to make people like you. Very entertaining and insightful.
“Let’s not put a label on things,” he says, after you’ve been seeing him for a couple of months already. “I definitely like you, and I want to keep seeing you, but I’m just not in a good place for anything ‘official’ right now. Let’s just enjoy what we are.”
You really like this guy. It’s been months (maybe even years) since you’ve found a guy that can get you this excited, and things have been going great. Yet despite what feels like a nearly perfect situation, you still have to have the awkward “so what is this?” conversation.
After some awkward, unproductive explanation of what you both expect from the relationship, you are still no closer to the answer you were hoping for, feeling confused and frustrated. You are chest-deep in what I call the “confusing, undefined modern relationship,” and it’s more common than you might think.
You don’t want things to end, but you also don’t want to get screwed over. Contrary to popular opinion, it can work. Here’s my advice for how to handle it, how to make sure you don’t get burned, and how to ensure the situation is of the most benefit to both of you.
Today’s post is written by Yasmine Ashuraey of Skilled Attraction, a date coaching and matchmaking firm. Read on for powerful methods of reducing anxiety and feeing more confident in your dating life!
Mutual love, trust, and enjoyment of one another’s company. These are some of the building blocks to amazing, fulfilling relationships. These building blocks extend to most intimate human relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships.
Love and trust take time to build. Enjoyment can be discovered instantaneously. In fact, outside of our family relationships, we expect to enjoy our time with someone before we consider a more intimate relationship.
Think about it for a moment. Would you invite someone into your life as a friend or romantic partner if you did not enjoy his or her company? The answer is, probably not. You’re at the receiving end of this as well. Others won’t invite you into their lives if they don’t sense they can enjoy their time with you.
This is where anxiety is worth exploring in our lives. High levels of anxiety can, and often will, cripple our capacity to discover our romantic partner. It does so by masking our personality and therefore creating an artificial barrier between us and another person. Anxiety blocks our capacity to have enjoyable experiences with another person.
What I want to help you accomplish in this article is the capacity to reduce your anxiety to minimal levels on a first date. Yes. Yes. And yes! It is certainly possible. Be gentle on yourself and give yourself time to incorporate these tips.
The end result is powerful. By saying goodbye to anxiety, you’ll be able to ease into conversation and connection, and therefore recognize if you enjoy another person’s company.
Are you ready? Let’s get started.
Today’s post is sponsored by Finally Dance! Finally Dance offers private partner dance lessons to beginners in the Houston, TX area. Let them make you more awesome.
Dancing is awesome. I learned how to salsa dance at age 18, then I learned swing, then two-step, then all the other styles I could. I was instantly hooked and have been dancing ever since.
Aside from simply being a lot of fun and a great personal challenge, getting into partner dancing was one of the best things I ever did for my dating life. Let me share why.
For this post, I must give thanks to two friends: my friend Taylor (follow her on Twitter @TaylorAsk) and my friend Kate at XO Sports In Stilettos. Kate shares a woman’s perspective on today’s sports at her blog. Be sure to check it out!
It’s the first week of October. We are well into Fall, and more importantly, we are well into Football Season. It’s no secret that us guys love football, and that we love girls who love football. For us, a Sunday doesn’t get much better than watching our team win while sharing some drinks with our friends and with an awesome lady.
Unfortunately, this can lead to an awkward situation: the guy you like is into football, and you aren’t. He invites you to watch the game, but you’re worried you’ll make a bad impression by not being into it or by looking silly.
No worries! We’re here to help. Here are some quick Do’s and Don’ts that will help you make a great impression at a game-watching event, even if you are completely dense to football. Take note, and you’ll be sure to have him and his friends saying “That girl is great. We need to have her around more often.”
There’s a term that my boys and I like to throw around as we go about the single-and-dating lifestyle. We meet women, hang out with them a few times, maybe start hooking up.. and the time comes when we have to determine if she’s worth committing to or not. Typically, we don’t discuss too many details amongst the guys, but one term we’ll put out there pretty often is “oh yea man, she’s relationship material.”
That term is usually the only detail we need to share with other guys for them to get the point: this girl is one worth sticking around with, and could be the one we decide to commit to. If the man himself is ready for a relationship (a whole other topic in itself) and describes a woman this way, we may have the workings for a committed, exclusive relationship.
Of course, there are plenty of things that could take her out of that category and into the “Eh, she’s fun, but not relationship material. I’ll keep seeing her for a bit but keep it at that” category. This is the outcome that leads to a lot of confusion and frustration among you women, and with good reason. I mean, if a guy continues to see you, it should mean he wants to commit eventually, right?
Unfortunately not. Some factors are bad enough to make you “not relationship material,” but not bad enough for him to stop seeing you completely, leading to the situation above.
So what are these reasons that men won’t commit to you? What takes you out of the “relationship material” category? I will describe a few common reasons here. If you don’t have any of these negative traits, odds are good that you’re the kind of woman we want to settle down with!
“I moved to a new area in January and haven’t made any guy friends I can talk to about this kind of stuff. Frankly, any guy friends I have made in the past year haven’t really been friends. They just wait in the dark until they jump out and confess their love for me or simply make a move.”
Wow, I can imagine the frustration. It can definitely be tough when you’re looking to make new friends and can’t trust people to not have hidden agendas.
When I read that, I realized that I’ve actually heard that comment many other times when casually talking to women about their dating and social lives. This issue certainly causes a lot of frustration in our personal relationships. One person expects a casual friendship, and the other person has another idea entirely. It can be very awkward when people have different expectations from the relationship.
Can men and women be just friends? Or like my reader has experienced, do most men simply present an air of friendship while waiting for the opportunity to “jump out and confess their love to her or make a move.”
Let’s explore this question from a guy’s perspective.
Some of us spend years wondering what we have to do to make ourselves more attractive to the opposite sex. Making yourself more attractive takes dedication and effort throughout your whole life, and can be very frustrating if you don’t quickly see results. There are plenty of ways to make yourself more attractive, but unfortunately a lot of them take a long time to achieve (such as losing weight or learning an interesting new skill).
However, there is one very simple way to make yourself much more attractive to the people around you, and although it might take some dedication to pull it off consistently, it is something that you can apply to yourself and see the benefits of today. In fact, you can apply it at this very moment if you happen to be on your way to a social event.
By applying this principle, I promise you will be much more interesting and attractive to the people around you (including the one you have your eyes on). Not only will this principle make you more attractive to the opposite sex, it will make you all around more likable and accepted by any person you happen to interact with!
Women, like I always say, you are awesome. You can be amazing people and can do amazing things. But as much as I don’t like to discuss any negative traits, I must point out that you can also do some very silly things. There are several things you do that can turn men off. There are silly things you do that are counterproductive to a relationship. There are silly things you do that you might not even be aware of. There are even some silly things you do that you might think are good things!
(Yes, I’m aware that men, including myself, do very silly things as well. This is a team effort here.)
Allow me to point out a few. Hopefully you don’t exhibit any of these behaviors, but if so, take this as an opportunity to improve yourself and avoid slowing down your progress toward a happy romantic life.
It happens every day. It happens when you’re single and when you’re in a relationship. You’re going on about your daily life, interacting with new and familiar people, and you can’t help but compare yourself to the women around you. Any time a new woman comes around your group, or gets hired at your office, or worst of all, interacts with the man you’re interested in, you almost instinctively compare yourself to her in every aspect. If you think she may be better looking than you, or that she’s getting more attention than you, you can’t help but feel that deep, nasty feeling: jealousy.
My question is, why? Why be jealous? What do you gain from that feeling? It certainly doesn’t feel good, and it’s certainly not fun to feel that your “territory” is threatened.
Why couldn’t you simply cut jealous behavior out of your life? Would things not be better? You’d be more confident, more secure, and more attractive. Remember, jealousy and insecurity isn’t just a turn off for you; it’s a turn off for us guys too. We want to spend time with fun, confident women, not jealous girls who cause drama.
Who knows? What if this woman you’re jealous of could have ended up being a good friend to you? With jealous and malicious behavior, you’d never know.
Let me explain why you should never be jealous again, and how to do it.