Alright friends, we’re adults now. We’ve graduated college. We have full time jobs. We’ve made it. Life is different now, and the way we dated in college just doesn’t work anymore. Our free time outside of work is now at a premium, and having that time wasted by a potential romantic partner who doesn’t have their shit together is probably the most frustrating thing we face in our quest for romance. Here are four dating rules for the professional world that will save you from accidentally offending others.
I didn’t write this. This was written by an anonymous OKCupid user and I was very moved when I read it. Please enjoy and share your thoughts.
I’m single, but I’m not looking for anyone to date right now. I’m interested in how people act on here. People are at their absolute worst on this site. It’s a true meat market. The people on it believe they are looking for love, but OKCupid isn’t selling love. It’s selling sex. Yes, you are looking for sex regardless of what you say or think.
I have found liars and cheaters on this site. My fiance was one of them. My fiance left me for a man she barely know but for whom OKCupid described as her “soul mate.” “Soul mate” is a laughable term. “Sex mate” is more like it. Everything we had built together and worked for was gone in an instant. Immediate gratification of her impulsive desire for the right man took precedence to any connection we had had. She has always been impulsive; but we had been carved from the same piece of wood, and it seemed impossible for that to change. I was absolutely heartbroken when she left me, believing it was something I had done, something wrong with me. It wasn’t until a full year had passed that I realized it wasn’t my fault; it was hers.
“Let’s not put a label on things,” he says, after you’ve been seeing him for a couple of months already. “I definitely like you, and I want to keep seeing you, but I’m just not in a good place for anything ‘official’ right now. Let’s just enjoy what we are.”
You really like this guy. It’s been months (maybe even years) since you’ve found a guy that can get you this excited, and things have been going great. Yet despite what feels like a nearly perfect situation, you still have to have the awkward “so what is this?” conversation.
After some awkward, unproductive explanation of what you both expect from the relationship, you are still no closer to the answer you were hoping for, feeling confused and frustrated. You are chest-deep in what I call the “confusing, undefined modern relationship,” and it’s more common than you might think.
You don’t want things to end, but you also don’t want to get screwed over. Contrary to popular opinion, it can work. Here’s my advice for how to handle it, how to make sure you don’t get burned, and how to ensure the situation is of the most benefit to both of you.
Today’s post is written by Sarah Williams of Get-a-Wingman.com, where she publishes dating advice for single guys. Today she has written this article for women who may need some help deciding when to move on!
When you start dating a person, everything usually goes smoothly in the beginning. You find each other attractive and try to put your best foot forward. Infatuation may lead you both to compromise your individuality when it comes to your relationship. Sometimes the situation between you and your new partner goes smoothly and a good relationship that lasts naturally develops. But that’s not how it should always go! We keep forgetting that finding a person that really lives up to our expectations and who also wants to be with us, is extremely rare. Everyone has their own characteristics, habits, and things that they are used to, so it’s difficult living up to somebody else’s expectations..
None of us want just a mediocre relationship. While we are young, we want to share our life and our best moments with someone who really deserves it and brings us happiness. It’s something that everyone dreams about, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s easy to achieve. Nowadays, the media influences our idea of the “perfect” relationship. You might think of two lovers from a romantic comedy, getting together after some initial turbulence. The final scene of these movies usually shows us how beautiful their relationship is and how happy they are, making us think that it’s relatively easy to find our one “true love.”and that it will automatically go great once we find this person. But these romantic comedies never show us what happens after a few months or even a few years? Nope! Most of our romantic relationships in life fail, and the sooner we understand why the better.
Happy New Year! Here’s to everything you accomplished in 2013, and to making 2014 even better.
As you know, our goal here is to help you find and maintain successful relationships. A big part of that is understanding what the opposite sex really finds attractive, and improving yourself to maximize your odds of catching their attention.
Too often I hear people ask “how can I get a boyfriend/girlfriend?”
This is a valid question, but it has a fundamental flaw. The question assumes that finding a significant other depends only on external factors, rather than on yourself.
A more appropriate question is “how can I become a person who is naturally attractive to the opposite sex?”
This question addresses the internal factors. It focuses on what we can do before we ever meet that new person to maximize our odds of success. This question is the first factor in the successful dating life equation.
Today we are going to answer that question.
For this post, I must give thanks to two friends: my friend Taylor (follow her on Twitter @TaylorAsk) and my friend Kate at XO Sports In Stilettos. Kate shares a woman’s perspective on today’s sports at her blog. Be sure to check it out!
It’s the first week of October. We are well into Fall, and more importantly, we are well into Football Season. It’s no secret that us guys love football, and that we love girls who love football. For us, a Sunday doesn’t get much better than watching our team win while sharing some drinks with our friends and with an awesome lady.
Unfortunately, this can lead to an awkward situation: the guy you like is into football, and you aren’t. He invites you to watch the game, but you’re worried you’ll make a bad impression by not being into it or by looking silly.
No worries! We’re here to help. Here are some quick Do’s and Don’ts that will help you make a great impression at a game-watching event, even if you are completely dense to football. Take note, and you’ll be sure to have him and his friends saying “That girl is great. We need to have her around more often.”
There’s a term that my boys and I like to throw around as we go about the single-and-dating lifestyle. We meet women, hang out with them a few times, maybe start hooking up.. and the time comes when we have to determine if she’s worth committing to or not. Typically, we don’t discuss too many details amongst the guys, but one term we’ll put out there pretty often is “oh yea man, she’s relationship material.”
That term is usually the only detail we need to share with other guys for them to get the point: this girl is one worth sticking around with, and could be the one we decide to commit to. If the man himself is ready for a relationship (a whole other topic in itself) and describes a woman this way, we may have the workings for a committed, exclusive relationship.
Of course, there are plenty of things that could take her out of that category and into the “Eh, she’s fun, but not relationship material. I’ll keep seeing her for a bit but keep it at that” category. This is the outcome that leads to a lot of confusion and frustration among you women, and with good reason. I mean, if a guy continues to see you, it should mean he wants to commit eventually, right?
Unfortunately not. Some factors are bad enough to make you “not relationship material,” but not bad enough for him to stop seeing you completely, leading to the situation above.
So what are these reasons that men won’t commit to you? What takes you out of the “relationship material” category? I will describe a few common reasons here. If you don’t have any of these negative traits, odds are good that you’re the kind of woman we want to settle down with!
“I moved to a new area in January and haven’t made any guy friends I can talk to about this kind of stuff. Frankly, any guy friends I have made in the past year haven’t really been friends. They just wait in the dark until they jump out and confess their love for me or simply make a move.”
Wow, I can imagine the frustration. It can definitely be tough when you’re looking to make new friends and can’t trust people to not have hidden agendas.
When I read that, I realized that I’ve actually heard that comment many other times when casually talking to women about their dating and social lives. This issue certainly causes a lot of frustration in our personal relationships. One person expects a casual friendship, and the other person has another idea entirely. It can be very awkward when people have different expectations from the relationship.
Can men and women be just friends? Or like my reader has experienced, do most men simply present an air of friendship while waiting for the opportunity to “jump out and confess their love to her or make a move.”
Let’s explore this question from a guy’s perspective.